Personal time matter and we should enjoy our own company, despite what society tells us about being alone

Many people consider being alone as being lonely, which is incorrect. Loneliness is a feeling of isolation, often accompanied by sadness or longing for connection. Solitude, on the other hand, is a choice—a state of being where you can focus on yourself without distractions. It’s about being comfortable in your own company and finding peace within.  

We need to change how we view solo time. It’s not something to fear or fill in with distractions, but something to embrace and find peace with. Being alone is an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, something that’s becoming increasingly rarer in this overstimulated world. 

Let’s be honest: Many of us are uncomfortable with being alone and that’s acceptable. When was the last time you went to the movies by yourself or even ate dinner alone at a restaurant? 

We’ve grown dependent on social interactions to fill our time. The rise of social media has also made this worse. We doom scroll through endless posts of people surrounded by friends or partners and it creates a false narrative that being alone is a problem. I feel solo time is essential. It’s during those quiet moments that we can reflect on our lives, process emotions and gain clarity about what we truly want. Without that space, it’s easy to lose ourselves in people’s opinions and expectations. 

I’ll admit, learning to enjoy being alone isn’t always easy. For many, it’s uncomfortable at first. You might feel awkward going to a café alone or spending a Friday night without plans. But these small acts remind you that your happiness doesn’t depend on anyone else. 

Take solo travel, for example. It’s one of the most freeing experiences you can have. You decide where to go, what to do and how to spend your time. There’s no compromising about someone else’s preferences. Solo travel might feel daunting at first but it’s an incredible way to build confidence, independence and a way to speak with others.  

Some people argue that prioritizing time alone is selfish, but I strongly disagree. When you take the time to care for yourself, you show up better for others. You’re less likely to rely on relationships to fill  emotional gaps, which lead to healthier and more balanced connections. 

That’s not to say we should isolate ourselves. As my therapist used to say, “humans are social creatures, we need interactions.” Socializing is important, but so is giving yourself a break and learning to be contempt within yourself.  

We live in a society that constantly pushes us to be busy and to seek validation from others. Choosing to step back and spend time alone is against that pressure. It’s a reminder that you are enough, just as you are. 

So, I challenge you to embrace solitude. Take yourself out for coffee, go for a walk without your phone or spend an evening at home doing something you love. It might feel strange at first, but over time, you’ll realize the value of being your own best company. In this generation, that’s something we could all use a little more of.  

In the end, learning to be alone isn’t just a skill—it’s a gift. It’s a chance to find peace with your soul and to build a life where happiness doesn’t depend on anyone else.  

This story was originally published in Volume 24, Issue 6 on February 6, 2025