The Oddity 

A very oddity Christmas!

It was only a few weeks away from Christmas, and the newsroom smelled faintly of cinnamon and a mix of printer ink. Christmas was coming, but so was Julia … little did anyone know that those two things were going to send the office into chaos. “PEOPLE!” she announced, slamming her hands on the desk hard enough to wake Theo up from his nap. Theo rubbed his eyes, muttering, “I already gave you the layouts, I swear —”

“No, I don’t care about that; this is important,” Julia insisted, her eyes gleaming with a manic energy. “Our engagement is down three percent from last December!” 

“Oh no,” Theo said flatly. “Three percent. However, will we survive? Should I start a GoFundMe? Sell my body?” 

“Your body wouldn’t even cover our coffee budget,” Jamie called out, photographing the students from the windowsill. “No offence.” 

“All the offence taken, actually, this is a work of art,” Theo said, flexing his arm.

Lena walked in carrying a tray of homemade gingerbread cookies, “Ollie, I brought treats!” Ollie came running out, running, before grabbing gingerbread cookies and stuffing them in his mouth. “You are an angel, these are delicious!”  

Julia clapped her hands together like a deranged kindergarten teacher, “Focus! I thought, why not do a Secret Santa and document it for the readers? Showing everyone that we are not just colleagues, but a family.”

The silence that followed was deafening. “We are fucked.” Daniel groaned, and Theo nodded in agreement. 

“I think it could be nice. We could use some holiday cheer around here!” Lena said with a bright smile. 

“Thank you, Lena. See? Lena gets it.”

“Okay, fine,” Daniel sighed. “But I’m setting a price limit of twenty dollars.”

“Thirty dollars,” Julia countered. “And we’re doing this properly. Everyone draws names today. Gifts are next week. We’ll do the exchange at our holiday party.”

“We’re having a holiday party?” Jamie perked up.

“We’re having the BEST holiday party,” Julia declared. The name drawing happened at lunch, “Names are in the hat. Draw one. Don’t tell anyone who you got, and if you draw yourself, pick another name.” Theo explained, putting all the names in the hat. One by one, they drew names. 

Days passed until it was the day of the party. Jamie arrived at the office bright and early with approximately 20 bags of decorations. By the time Julia arrived, the office looked like Santa’s workshop had exploded. “What the hell,” Julia said, standing in the doorway. 

Tinsel everywhere; draped over the desks and hanging all over the ceiling. The Christmas tree in the corner had all kinds of ornaments, and a life-sized cardboard cutout of Mariah Carey loomed beside the tree. “Do you like it?” Jamie popped up from behind a desk.

“It looks like Christmas threw up in here,” Theo said, arriving behind Julia. 

“Is that a disco ball?” Daniel pointed at the ceiling.

“It’s a CHRISTMAS disco ball,” Jamie corrected. “I bedazzled it myself.”

“Why is there a cutout of Mariah Carey?”

“Because she’s the Queen of Christmas, Daniel. Show some respect.” 

Lena arrived carrying more cookies and gasped with delight, “Jamie! This is beautiful!”

“Thank you!” Jamie beamed. 

“Your artistic vision is giving me a migraine,” Theo whined. Ollie tumbled in last, took one look at the office, and immediately started laughing, “Holy shit. This is amazing. Can we keep it like this forever?”

“No,” Julia and Daniel said in unison.

A few hours passed and everyone was preparing for the party. Lena and Ollie were preparing dinner and dessert in the kitchen, while Daniel and Theo were putting together the playlist. The playlist ended up being a mix of classic Christmas songs, indie covers of Christmas songs, and tracks from the Hamilton soundtrack.

“Why is Hamilton on the Christmas playlist?” Daniel asked.

“My Shot is about ambition and hope, which is very Christmas-y if you think about it,” Theo said proudly. 

“That’s a reach.”

“Your face is a reach.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Your face doesn’t make sense.”

“Are you 12?”

“Are YOU 12?”

“I’m going to go help Lena,” Daniel gave up, walking away.

“That’s what I thought!” Theo called after him.

The office looked insane. But in a good way. The lights were twinkling. The decorations were overwhelming but festive. Mariah Carey’s cardboard cutout had been moved to a place of honour: near the punch bowl. Lena’s food covered two entire tables. Jamie’s punch bowl was filled with something red and suspicious looking.

Julia raised her cup of suspicious punch, “Welcome to The Oddity‘s first annual holiday party.”

“Cheers to that,” Lena said warmly.

They all clinked their cups together and drank. The punch was strong. Extraordinarily strong. Concerningly strong.

“Jesus Christ, Jamie. What’s in this?” Daniel asked, sniffing it cautiously.

“Rum, cranberry juice, orange juice, some Sprite, and love,” Jamie said.

“How much rum?”

“Enough.”

They ate Lena’s food, which was incredible, and listened to Theo’s playlist, which was surprisingly good, even the Hamilton tracks. Julia announced it was time for Secret Santa. She pulled out a wrapped box and handed it to Theo. He raised an eyebrow and opened it. Inside was a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. “Holy shit,” Theo blurted genuinely touched. “This is actually perfect.”

“I know,” Julia smugly chirped. Theo went next, pulling out a gift bag and handing it to Daniel. “Merry Christmas, you cynic.”

Daniel opened it to find a book called How to Write for Dummies 101, a bottle of decent whiskey, and a stress ball shaped like a tiny screaming man.

Daniel laughed. “… Should I be offended or flattered?” 

“Both,” Theo said proudly. Daniel closed the gift bag with a smile, “Thanks, man, seriously.” 

Daniel’s gift went to Lena. “I hope you like it.”

Lena opened it to find a beautiful journal with hand-pressed flowers on the cover and tickets to the butterfly conservatory.

“Daniel,” Lena breathed, her eyes getting misty. “This is so thoughtful.”

“You’re always taking care of everyone else,” Daniel said, looking uncomfortable with the emotion. “Figured you deserved something nice.” Lena’s gift went to Jamie. It was a vintage camera bag she’d found at an estate sale, along with some new lenses. “Lena!” Jamie looked like she was about to cry. “This is incredible! How did you —”

“I asked around,” Lena put simply. “You’re the best human,” Jamie declared, hugging Lena fiercely. Jamie’s gift went to Ollie. He tore open the envelope, and his jaw dropped so hard it nearly hit the floor.

“NO WAY,” Ollie gasped. “NO. WAY.” Ollie held it up triumphantly. “IT’S FIVE COUPONS FOR AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET!!”

“Wait, Jamie, how do you get that many coupons?” Julia asked. “I know a guy,” Jamie said, crossing her arms with a smirk. Finally, Ollie’s gift went to Julia. “I wasn’t sure what to get you,” Ollie admitted nervously. Julia opened the bag to pull out a frame with the first-ever article she wrote at The Oddity and pulled out tickets to the live Star Wars Orchestra show downtown with front row seats. 

Julia set everything down on her lap, and after a moment of silence came the waterworks. “Ollie … you … I-I can’t believe you found this issue and the tickets!” Julia said between her muffled tears. 

Julia sniffled hard, “I-I love you guys, I know I scream a lot and threaten to fire everyone when I don’t have that power. And you all are so weird, but —” she said, holding up the framed article, “this is the best team I could ask for!”

They all clinked their glasses: “To The Oddity!” they all said in unison. 

The night continued as they all listened to music, made jokes, and played drinking games to make them regret it the next morning. 

It was truly an oddity of a Christmas!