“Scoot in?” 

His mom third-wheeled our date and I faked my way out. 

We made plans to go out for dinner, and he offered to pick me up. I said sure. I walk outside and his mom is already in the front seat. She waves at me like this is totally normal and says, “Scoot in!” 

I honestly thought she was just dropping us off but nope, she came inside, sat with us, and stayed the entire time. She ordered for him and then said she hoped I wasn’t one of those crazy girls who believes in astrology (I am). 

She also told me I looked like “a nice girl who probably doesn’t drink too much.” I had one bite of food, pretended to get a phone call from my sister, and left. I still cannot believe that actually happened. 

First off, I am so sorry. Why was she in the car like it was the family minivan to soccer practice? “Scoot in!” is such a wild opener for a date. 

And the fact that she ordered for him?? No. Absolutely not. That man is not looking for a girlfriend, he’s looking for a second mom who also reads his horoscope on the side. And her saying “Hope you’re not one of those astrology girls,” while you’re literally an astrology girl … that’s basically the universe giving you a neon exit sign. 

Honestly, it seems like you dodged a bullet by pretending to take that phone call. I would’ve been clutching my drink like it was a crystal ball, seeing visions of a lifetime of double dates with him and his mother. You did the right thing. 

Some guys bring flowers to the first date; some bring their best jokes — and some apparently bring their mom.