Some people are giving up sex for Lent, and while this may seem crazy to some, I applaud their commitment. Giving up sex doesn’t mean you have to give up being sexy, or doing sexual things with your partner. I sent out a survey about giving up sex for forty days. Twenty-six people responded—and their answers may surprise you. Out of twenty-six people, eighteen said that they would never give up sex, and surprisingly, an equal mix of men and women said they would give up sex for forty days. I thought that no men would want to give up sex, and though I was wrong, the men that responded were still raunchier than their female counterparts. Eighteen women responded to the survey, and while no one expected their partners to cheat on them while they were on their sex hiatus, almost everyone said they expected their partners to still try to have sex with them.

One male even said, “I would probably still try to have sex with my partner, but that sounds a little rape-y, so I prefer to think of it as trying to seduce my partner.”

This was, unfortunately, a very common response from the males that completed this survey. One survey responder answered why he would still try to have sex with his girlfriend, “Well if she decides to give up sex, she’s also making that choice for me. I feel like it should be a joint commitment if we’re going to do it. I don’t think anyone should decide that for me.”

I think that if you’re going to give up sex, he has a good point and you should make that decision as a couple, especially if it might affect your relationship.

What was most surprising is that only fourteen out of twenty-six people said that they would do foreplay instead of having sex.

Another responder who is giving sex up for lent answered why more people wouldn’t fool around without having sex, and she explained, “Some people aren’t just giving up sex, they are giving up all the pleasure that comes from sex and sexual acts. I mean, it’s not like we should be having sex anyways, we aren’t married, so he can either wait for forty days or until we’re married. I think he’d rather wait forty days.”

So, for those of you who are giving up sex by association, but haven’t made the commitment willingly, you can always masturbate. It might not be as good as the real thing, but look on the bright side—the sex will be so much better at Easter.

For those of you who are giving up sex but not all-sexual pleasure, you can continue to have fun with your partner by partaking in your regular foreplay—including the use of hands, mouths, and maybe even some toys.