The Italian dinner from hell
It started off fine. We met through a mutual friend, chatted for a few days and agreed to meet for dinner at a casual Italian place downtown. He seemed nice enough over text, a little dry, but polite, so I figured I’d give it a chance.
The weirdness started almost immediately. He showed up 20 minutes late with no text and no apology. He just walked in and said, “Parking’s brutal,” like that explained everything. I tried to let it go, thinking maybe he was nervous or having a rough day. But then we sat down and within minutes, he was talking about his ex. Not in a reflective or respectful way, but more like a rant. He kept referring to her as “crazy” and saying how obsessed she used to be with him. It made me really uncomfortable.
Throughout the entire meal, he didn’t ask me a single question. Not one. I tried to steer the conversation a few times or share little things about myself, but he would always interrupt or redirect the focus back to him. He went on and on about his job, his workout routine and his opinions on things I didn’t even bring up. At one point, after I ordered pasta, he looked at my plate and said, “You probably don’t get this because you’re not into fitness.” I didn’t know how to respond.
When the bill came, he picked it up, laughed and said, “Oh, I forgot my wallet in the car. You don’t mind, right?” I was so stunned I just paid for both of us so I could get out of there faster. He didn’t even say thank you.
As we were leaving, he looked at me and said, “We should do this again. I can tell you’re the kind of girl who likes to take care of people.”
There was definitely no second date.
Jahnavi’s Response:
First of all, thank you for your bravery in surviving this date without flipping a table or committing a crime.
Let’s establish something immediately: arriving 20 minutes late with no apology is not a personality quirk. It is a preview. Saying “Parking’s brutal” like it’s a spell that erases basic manners? Absolutely not.
The ex-girlfriend rant is where this officially stopped being a date and became a TED Talk titled Why I’m Still Single. Any man who describes all of his exes as “crazy” is not revealing information about them, he’s accidentally confessing things about himself.
Then we arrive at him being a conversational black hole. Not asking you a single question isn’t awkward. It’s an entitlement. You weren’t on a date, you were a spectator. A very polite, pasta-eating spectator.
And the fitness comment? Looking at your food and implying you “wouldn’t get it?” That’s not a show of concern. That’s condescension sprinkled with unearned confidence a.k.a. the most irritating seasoning of all.
Let’s talk about the wallet situation. Forgetting your wallet and laughing about it, then letting you pay without a thank you, is not charming or accidental. It’s a test. And you passed it in the sense that you paid, but he failed it by revealing exactly who he is.
The final comment, “you’re the kind of girl who likes to take care of people,” is not a compliment. It’s a job offer you did not apply for.
Here’s your closure:
You didn’t overreact. You didn’t misread anything. Your discomfort was doing its job. You don’t owe patience to lateness, empathy to disrespect, or a second date to someone who treated you like a free dinner with a side of empty flattery.
There was no second date because no one deserved that.
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